Friday, September 19, 2014

Jo Jo

Yep, I'm teary eyed just thinking to myself my baby Jonas could actually be turning 5 years old!  Yes, it's me thinking 5 is the year between a toddler turning into a child,
oh but it's much deeper than that.

 It's that his 1st birthday was one of Jonas' first big moments we were able to celebrate with him ... we missed those first moments of his life and also wonder if his birth mother would be proud of us today? Wondering what were those first months of his life was like.  I do deeply wish I could have been there to hold him with his first few breaths of air.  If you have adopted you know it just goes much deeper than another birthday...your heart has a special place for's different than your biological're in constant wonder if I'm messing him up...his story is already rough coming into this world you don't want to add more difficulty...loving him unconditionally, is that enough? Our last four years and 5 months have been constantly hard work, behind his perfect smile is a nonstop attention seeking little boy ... that honestly I don't handle it very well all the time ... he pushes buttons, he's the kind of kid you ask NOT to do something and two minutes later he does it one hundreds times .. and you think how does he not get it? After many seasons of feeling guilt that I was doing something wrong, wondering if he's ever going to get that making bad choices is not fun. I feel that today is a milestone so deep within my heart that's he's finally getting it and his heart has been slowly transforming right before us. I feel he has a strong conscience to please us after so many frustrating times where Scott and I have gotten really rattled, we can truly see our discipline of consistency is paying off! We have finally learned how to channel this sweet spirit into a striving little boy. Scott and I were so worried about him going into Pre-K this year, but he's shinning in his class this year...his teacher adores him constantly giving me good reports. His beaming smile shows how proud of himself he is! For the first time I drop him off at school and he's eager to learn and his frustration and anger has fallen to the side and confidence is building that he is very smart.  Today, I choke up thinking what a gorgeous child he is and I'm thankful for him teaching me to push boundaries and not all children fit into my tight box. More than anything this child has taught me more about me, how to truly love unconditionally that no matter what he does I will always love my children even though they misbehave I may be frustrated at the action my love will never wavier! I do think the secret ingredient these past few years has been UNCONDITIONAL love...

Jonas Scott Armstrong I love you so deeply with all my soul and yes I'm fully confident your birth mom would say that above all else that is the most important gift we can give him! Jonas, I'm so beyond proud of you and who you are becoming!! I continue with God's help to be a mother you need me to be! Your beautiful brown skin is a gift I always say yummy chocolate I want to eat...and yes we may never have the same color skin (believe me I try as much sun as I get) but our souls are united as mother and son!  Your smile and laughter is beaming and contagious and impacts all that get to see and hear it. You have a love for life.. living in the fullest in full throttle. You are a gift that God has designed so perfectly for this family.  Parker, Brooke, and Kate are so lucky to have you as a brother but I know the bond with you and them is unbreakable and no one would protect them better than you, which is such an awesome trait! Your inquisitive mind always asking questions wears me out sometimes  but never stop your sense of's proven as a part of your smartness! Your love/hate of food has taught us the most to let it go and enjoy those foods you love when you can of course with a sprinkle of healthiness  Your LOVE sports as it's just in your blood to play and watch them is going to be such a big part of your life.. I'm proud of you and the determination you have to succeed in them! Just now describing you I feel I fully know every part of who you are and who you're becoming and it makes me so proud...that I get to be your mother! Today we celebrate you and you're going to love every minute of that!:) Full eyes are on you while you're changing into this beautiful young boy growing up with your family as your biggest cheerleaders! We are behind you every step of the way...God's got BIG plans for you and I know he's going to help Scott and I give you the tools to reach them!! 

Today we as a family we celebrate you being 5 years old and it's a celebration for us all!     

1 comment:

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