It has begun... the bump and grind of going to school.
Yes, I'm one of those dorky moms that loves summer and hate for my little ones to go back to school... but really it's because of the hustle of getting out the door...the feeling of hurry ..the yelling of come on guys we got to go... yuck! But I'm looking forward to the small breaks for quietness this year as my babies are all learning away .. I want to do the same. I want so desperately to carve out "ME" time... yes it's easy to get carried away with the never ending to-do list but this year I want to make time in my life for reflecting and planning for this sweet family of mine.They deserve a momma ready to serve them and prepared for them when they walk into the door. I'm going to try to put the errands aside and spending my mornings at home stretching my mind, whether it be in the word, being still listening to God, or blogging while reflecting the current season we are in. These last two years have been a complete blur ... with scattered busyness, sprinkled in fun times and lots of stressful ones. What's this life without taking time reflecting and stillness?!
Let me climb through the barriers of sound and pass into your silence
and then in stillness and silence let me adore you!
I'm going to try my hardest to follow my spirit calling me instead of the piles of laundry and dishes that distract because this momma doesn't want to miss this! These years that I think will be my favorite let me relish and rest in them finding the small little treasures throughout each day. Like this story of the first day of school .. every mom out there celebrating their adorable, clean, cutely dressed little star students. Most moms have those first day photos that look so perfect on the outside but inside it took lots of bribing, only a few tears and yes stained toothpaste on Jonas' shirt for our cute picture. Ours was a typical school morning... I thought....
lots of loud voices of excitement, responsible Brooke I think had everything ready bossing everyone else on what to do. Parker was quiet but steadily getting ready for his big first day of second grade. The Little's (Jonas and Kate) had only meet the teacher and started the next day... but very ready to meet their teachers for the year. Of course, not planning it in my head correctly with it being the first day of school the line of parents into the school was unbelievably LONG as everyone wanted to walk their child into the classroom the first day ...oops should have planned better I told the twins. Brooke immediately said "it's ok just drop us off in the front" her confidence was soaring high and I thought "wow, they are big kids now?" Brooke was ready to jump out of the car and high tail it to class. I said, "Parker is that ok with you?" he said "well, can you do car line and drop us off there instead?" I said "sure". He was wondering how he was going to carry his bag of supplies too and I said "you'll be fine honey you're strong." Car line went fast and as I pulled up to let them out I could hear the complaining starting from Parker " I don't want to carry this bag of supplies it's just too heavy". He was upset ... I said I'm sorry buddy but I'm stuck in this line now and cant walk you into class. I was actually starting to get annoyed, Parker you will be fine I promise he really didn't have to walk far. I gave him a kiss and watched him walk away, complaining still talking to himself acting like the bag weighed 400 pounds... he started to drag the bag on the ground ..oh no, I thought he's going to rip it ...Where is Brooke I thought? Yep, she high tailed it out of there straight to her classroom and left Parker in her dust. I pulled off to the side and got out and ran up and said Parker you can do this and put the bag back on his shoulders. He looked up at me with his big green eyes and said I'M JUST SO NERVOUS! ... tears began to fill his eyes ... uggg a huge knife in my heart. I wanted to cry with him ... how could I have overlooked him and thinking he's so strong and he doesn't need me? I hugged him tightly and said it's going to be alright ... you're going to do great... he said "I don't know anyone!" It is the first year the twins don't know anyone in their class. How could I have overlooked my sensitive sweet Parker? I should have known he would have been nervous! I guess I thought Brooke had enough confidence for the both of them! He's always been the tender one ... and doesn't like change. I told him come on jump in the car and I will park and we'll wait in line ... might take an hour but it was worth it! I messed up ... I was so busy with all my other kid's drama that morning ... I forgot about one of the easiest. As I was helping Parker get his bags into the car ... I hear PARKER PARKER one of his dear friends ran up to him and gave him a hug and I could see him quickly wipe his eyes and swallow his nerves. His friend asked him to walk with him ... his dad was with him and took the bag of supplies for Parker. I gave Parker a big hug and told him tomorrow I will walk him into his class to make up for today... he smiled and said great!
I got into the car and wanted to cry ... Silly I know, but I messed up and missed being there for him... with a large family it's hard to know how to meet every one's needs but this is something that I should have known, but got caught up in the busyness of the morning I missed it. I'm sure he won't remember (hope not) but it helped me to wake up and try harder to put the distractions away and focus on these precious souls that God has given me ... to be present, to be still and listen to the voices around you that's my mission this school year ... what's yours?
The 2nd day for the twins went much better.
Thank you Jesus for second chances!