Friday, July 30, 2010

The Widow = My Mom Part 4

Whew, I don't know if you have stuck with me so far but wow it's a lot... I know! Hang with me as God's provision keeps providing His ways... He has just woven everything together as a fine knitted glove. Including a funny thing He's doing right now... as a few of you have shared with me that you think I'm a good writer... that is hilarious to me! That has really meant a lot because my biggest insecurity on this earth is writing! I was on a 4th grade reading level in 11th grade of school... again another story for another time. I have my husband proof read everything just to help me feel secure. God knew I needed that encouragement from you. Thank you!!

First I want to share with you some of my devotion this morning .. another good one that follows along with what I was sharing with you in yesterday's post.

I created beauty to declare the existence of My Holy being. A magnificent rose, a hauntingly glorious sunset, oceanic splendor- all these things were meant to proclaim My presence in the World. Most people rush past these proclamations without giving them a second thought. How precious are My children who are awed by nature's beauty; this opens them up to My Holy Presence. This is a gift, and it carries responsibility with it. The whole earth is full of my radiant beauty- My Glory!
I want to encourage you all to stop and enjoy the beauty all around you this weekend. I think it helps you see the beauty in your life even if it's a hard season. Just take time whether it just be 5 minutes and stare in awe... that's a gift from the Lord to you. Whether it be a person, child, flower, sky, ants, sunset, ocean, or just the process you are in right now. Stop and stare and see his Glory and feel His presence. Life is in the fast lane and we are always worried about the next best thing that we don't take time to enjoy what we have already been given. Rejoice in it this weekend... I'm going to try.
So, back to God's written story in my life. My Mom is now left as the widow, whew, I was already overwhelmed that I was getting married in 6 months... I just wanted to focus on myself and planning the best moment in my life. I didn't want to deal with a sick mother and I had every excuse not to help her... I kept telling myself "she doesn't even think of me as her daughter." We tried to get her to leave her home but she wouldn't have anything to do with it. In my head selfishly I was glad... I could wash my hands clean for right now and deal with it later. We said our goodbyes after the funeral week, but deep down I knew it wasn't the end. I tried to return to my job and life of planning a wedding and it was hard. We had other family issues arise that tore my heart... when it rains it pours! To be honest it was a lot to deal with. After a month or so being home I started to get phone calls from the police. They had my direct line now and they were keeping an eye out on my mom. They knew how to reach me if my mom would be doing anything suspicious. One of the first calls was she was walking naked around the neighborhood, then it added a few weeks later with naked and going through people's trash. They were concerned and told me about a the Baker Act Law. I wasn't ready to do that but I was worried for her safety... but for some reason I just didn't have the strength to do anything about it. Another month went by and I got another phone call from the police station saying that she had walked into the town hall and took a huge painting off the wall, brought it home, repainted it, and returned it. When she came back she told the front desk lady she just didn't like it and thought it needed to be changed. Now looking back on it, that was pretty funny:) At least my mom wasn't harmful... she wouldn't have hurt a fly, but she would repaint paintings. They told me they were not going to press charges thank goodness but I needed to do something! I didn't know how I was going to get her to move. All her memories were there plus she hadn't left that area in 20 years... how would I get her to leave now? Again I kept putting it off ... praying to God on what I should do.

Until it hit me like a sack of potatoes in the early morning after July 4th. I was tossing and turning in bed trying to ignore the feeling and the Holy Spirit became on fire inside me... GO GET HER... I shot out of bed! I shared it with Scott and he agreed. Without figuring out any details we were in the car going to get her!
To be continued... again so sorry but just tired :)
Hang on tight as I will continue this soon! Don't forget the challenge of taking time out this weekend and enjoy the small things... life is just too short and we ALL are already so blessed because we have Jesus!
Happy Friday night and I hope you all have a very blessed weekend!

1 comment:

Kelsey said...

I have heard your story and every time I hear it again it is like hearing it for the first time. It is so encouraging and inspiring. It just takes me breath away looking at how much God can take the trauma of our life and turn it into an amazing blessing. Thank you Hedi for being transparent and always willing to inspires me for my mom :)